Locals Waking Up From Hibernation

It is upon us again. The glorious mid to late Spring arrival of the local workforce from their slumber. After a long Winter of in activity, the Outer Banks returns to life. This miracle of nature is visible in all their natural habitats like the Bypass and Food Lion. Another good place to see them is at their jobs where they are currently standing around, waiting for it to get busy again.

This unique species has quite an interesting life cycle. The average Outer Banks local will only Hibernate for about three months maximum. Before hibernation they consume large quantities of holiday food and alcohol. After waking up from hibernation they will realize that the beach season is right around the corner and begin fasting and exercising. As the Summer wears on they gradually increase their caloric intake until by late July they are not even thinking about it.

They also have to worry about their increasingly precarious habitat. This sandbar they call an island is susceptible to flooding from both sides. In fact the sheer weight of alcohol on the beach is enough to sink the island during high tide if not for the intrepid locals who bravely dispose of it. The higher the tide the more necessary the imbibing. In fact when a hurricane threatens the island, the locals band together to cleanse their habitat of any and all remaining alcohol.

Next in our series of wildlife lectures will be the migration of the Eastern European college student. The end of their long journey is nearly upon us.

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