Manteo – After a harrowing three-year expedition, Phil Amadas and Art Barlowe have successfully scouted out the long-rumored Western Passage on Roanoke Island. For decades, there have been legends of a western route on the island that completely avoided the busy Highway 64/264. After disappointing months poking down leads on Airport Road in search of this holy grail of traffic avoidance the pair was ready to give up, when they heard a rumor that renewed their hopes.
“One night at Poor Richard’s–it was trivia night, which I always win, by the way–an old wino told us about a trail beginning on Etheridge Road. He told us that if we journeyed until we saw the UPS terminal, we would find the breakthrough we had been looking for,” explained Amadas.
Barlowe added, “Of course, everybody knows about the Eastern Passage down Wingina from Mother Vineyard to Budleigh, then the jog over to Uppowoc behind COA over to 64. That route was discovered around 1953 by locals leaving The Lost Colony. It is a great way to avoid the traffic snarls on the highway, but mankind has longed for another detour to the west of the highway.”
And now they have it. When asked about the grueling journey, Amadas stated, “Well, we took the old wino’s hint and turned left on Driftwood down near the Maola plant. It seemed to wind around to nowhere, but we finally realized that we had made it to the prison and the SPCA. We kept going until we saw the highway up ahead once again. At that point we almost despaired of staying off the main drag.”
“Yes,” continued Barlowe, “But when we were at our lowest point, dehydrated and considering just running over to Hatchell’s for a Mountain Dew, some natives from Goat Town found us and led us to their homes. We stayed with them for several months, regaining our strength and trying to find the will to continue.”
And continue they did. Reaching Burnside, the pair explored leads off the confusingly curvy road, spending several weeks wandering bewildered in the wilds of Roanoak Village. Barlowe offers, “The roads there all seem to go in circles or to lead to dead ends. Whatever demon drew us into that subdivision certainly meant to lead us to perdition. Even the spelling is confounding.”
“But we finally escaped the Roanok doldrums, made it back to Burnside, and eventually discovered the settlement of Good Luck. When we later saw the great roundabout we were terrified. Why would a road intentionally go in a circle? And there was an icon of the local god in the middle, a vengeful deity holding a huge paddle. We camped there for three nights, then moved on with haste,” stated Amadas.
Eventually, the pair muscled through past landfills and water treatment plants to discover that they were on Bowsertown Road. Soon, the aroma of espresso and blueberry muffins reached their noses, and they stumbled, spent yet rejoicing, into the coffee shop on the highway. They had made it!
“Next, we will find a path that connects all the way down to the Midway Intersection,” insisted Barlowe. “As long as there are rainy day tourists, there will be a need for a bypass. Not like the one on the beach, though. God forbid!”