Southern Shores – Driving along US 158 in Dare County the perceptive visitor might notice the area boasts a remarkable number of churches. From the Holy Redeemer Catholic Church in Kitty Hawk to the United Methodist Church in Hatteras, there are over two dozen houses of worship dotting the island. And until last Thursday, they all represented branches or denominations of Christianity.
Thursday witnessed the grand opening of the Temple of the Jedi Order of Southern Shores. Yes, the Jedi are a real religion. They have their own symbols, tenants and Wikipedia page. Since 2001, when people first began recording their religion as “Jedi” on the U.S. Census, the movement has steadily grown and in 2010 the Jedi now represent a whopping 62% of religious adherents in Dare County (see chart).
The Master of the Jedi Temple, OBX-wan Kenobi, offered his insight on why the Jedi Faith has suddenly become so popular:
“We stand for goodness, protect the weak, believe in the sanctity of all life, support the ban on plastic bags, and we don’t discriminate. I mean, any being can become a Jedi You think we care if are gay or straight? Heck, the Ophrys of Apifera Prime are hyper-intelligent self-pollinating plants and dozens of them are Jedi! The other thing is we don’t tithe. Heck, we don’t even pass the plate in our assemblies. We’re the best bargain in the faith community by a parsec.”
For the most part, the Temple’s new neighbors have been “cautiously welcoming” of the Jedi. Many, such as Mayor/Crooner Tony Bennett, see the benefits of having lightsaber wielding defenders of justice as part of the community. He noted that, as opposed to other religious institutions which are “taxbase freeloaders who have never been welcome in Southern Shores” the Jedi Temple will save Southern Shores money.
“They’re going to take care of all the law and order issues, so we won’t need to pay for a police force anymore,” said Bennett. “And after Master Kenobi negotiated with the CEO of Great Lakes Dredge and Dock we got a fantastic offer for our beach nourishment project. It’s win-win for our citizens.”
Others, such as resident Gary Loracs, like that the Jedi have a deep appreciation for nature and feel they will have a positive influence on the weak minded town council members who Loracs described as “anti-tree.”
But not everyone is so sanguine about the arrival of the Jedi. Darth Midgett, Southern Shores most famous curmudgeon, was outspoken about the Jedi and the Jedi Temple in a recent Facebook rant. He described the Jedi as “space snowflakes” who refuse to accept that “the Dark Side is the only way.”
The Jedi Temple is open to visitors from 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. and welcomes the public to come and learn more about their Order.