Kill Devil Hills – An area father desperately tried to convince his children they didn’t need to go to the new water park. Having just paid rent and the other bills, he was dangerously short on cash. With tickets running around $50 bucks a head, he decided to try to offer his kids a thrifty alternative.
“See you can get just as wet here in the yard as you can all the way up in Currituck, and we don’t have to go over that scary bridge!” He said to his daughter, Emily.
“Last time I was crying on the bridge, you said it wasn’t scary,” Emily replied confused.
“Don’t you go making her scared of that bridge, Charlie, you cheap idiot. We will never get her to go to Grandma’s house again,” His wife yelled from the porch.
“Okay, Okay, you’re right, the bridge isn’t scary, but this tarp is just as fun. If you get a running start you can go faster than any ride at the water park.”
Emily’s response was a scowl.
“At the water park there are a bunch of lines. You don’t want to wait in lines do you sweetie? No one likes that. Here it is just you and your brother, and you can slip and slide as much as you want.”
“I hate my brother,” Emily said as her brother nodded silently, “I wanna play with my friends, and all of them are at the water park!”
Sensing he was losing the argument, he decided to try a new line of reasoning. “What about the pee? Everyone is peeing everywhere. Thousands of people all peeing on each other, and swimming in pee!”
“Charlie!” His wife screamed from the porch
“I thought you weren’t supposed to pee in the pool dad. You said never pee in the pool!”
“Right, and you never should, but you can’t trust tourists. Remember what I told you about tourist.”
“When Ohio sends its tourist to us, they aren’t sending their best,” she recited earnestly.
“That’s right. So now are you going to tell your mother that you don’t want to go to the water park?”
“No,” Emily said as her mother came down the steps with all the beach bags.
“Go get your bathing suit on and get in the car Charlie. These beers I hid in my bag are getting hotter by the minute.”
Defeated and despondent, Charlie walked into the house to retrieve his bathing suit.