Leader Refuses to Meet with Local Aliens

The Solomons came to Frisco in 1953, a family of travelers from the planet Zorch enticed to the Outer Banks by the beautiful beaches and fresh caught seafood. Like so many visitors before and after, they decided to stay. Jedidiah Solomon, the patriarch of the family, recalls that he has met with every president since Eisenhower as a sort of unofficial ambassador from Zorch but so President Donald J. Trump has refused to to extend an invitation to the White House.

“I’m happy to meet him anytime,” Solomon said. “But the phone ain’t ringing.”

Solomon and his family run the most successful bed and breakfast in Frisco as well as “The Black Hole,” billed as the Outer Banks most popular opium den. He watches football on Sundays after church, hosts neighborhood oyster roasts and owns more guns than he can count. Surrounded by his spouse, platonic lover, salt wife, seven offspring, and the family pet cefolapede named “Daggit”, Solomon has clearly assimilated into the somewhat offbeat society of the southern beaches

His neighbor, Larry Dallas, this might be why there’s been no invite from the Trump Administration.


“Jedidiah is a good guy for an alien but he’s been in ‘murica so long he’s almost like an ordinary ‘murican. Mr. Trump is a busy man and don’t have to meet with ordinary type folk even if they do have green skin,” Dallas suggested. “Hate to say it, but maybe he should act a little more alien-like. You know, threaten to blow up a building or impose sharia-law in the county.”

The OBX Report has reached out to the White House for comment but to date has not received word on when President Trump might make time for Frisco’s most famous extraterrestrial.

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