God “not quite finished” testing people of Hatteras

He has smote them with nor’easters and category V hurricanes. He has sent plagues of mosquitoes large enough to carry off a 3rd grader, sent endangered birds to close their beaches and nesting turtles to close the ones the birds didn’t handle. He has used His Power to choke their vital waterways with sand and recently cut power to the entire village.

But apparently He is not done testing the tribe of Hatteras. Not by a long shot.

“Oh, I’ve got a few more things up my sleeve,” God told the OBX Report in an exclusive interview. “I hope they can handle it.”

God’s testing of the people of Hatteras harkens back to the time he put Job  through a series of trials to measure his faith. The Celestial Oneness acknowledged He was conducting a similar experiment with the people of Hatteras, but was not as certain that they will be able to hang with Him as unwaveringly as the man from the Land of Uz.

“I mean I’ve really been throwing it to them lately,” God said. “Job got some boils and lost a few cattle and honestly he probably knew it was Me doing it all along to test him. The Hatteras people? They blame it all on the Audubon Society and the CCA.”

God said that the rewards for keeping faith with him would be “pretty sweet” but would not provide any spoilers other than to say it would be a “a lot more awesome than Shelly Island.”