Sources close to key legislators are saying that there were unseen forces working to repeal bag ban in Dare county. Apparently a secret cabal of powerful cat lovers has been making back channel moves to get the plastic bag ban repealed so they can save money on bags for the litter box bags. Unbeknownst to the locals their entire economy, government, and local Facebook group was secretly controlled by Big Cat.
Some simple calculations reveal the extent of money involved. Each Feline Hoper has at least 34 cats, which produced approximately 14 ounces of cat turds per day. Now you might be able to fit two cat turds in one bag, but that would require perfect timing. So on average we are looking at around 30 bags a day. There number of members in the Feline Cabal are estimated to be more than 20 and less than a hundred, so lets round it to fifty. So thirty bags times fifty people a day is 1500 bags a day. Times that by three hundred and sixty five days in a year and you get 547,500 bags! The cheapest you can find bags on Amazon is 1000 bags for $14.50 (free shipping with Prime). Now if you remember how to do portions from school you will divide 547,500 by 1000 to get 547.5 and multiply that by $14.50 to get $7938.75 in bags a year.
The sources say once the our state representatives heard how massive the savings would be to these powerful locals, they decided to vote in favor of this wildly unpopular legislation. Not only would this help them piss off some of their constituents, it would also kill sea turtles, so it’s a win win.