Nags Head – Little Stevie Williams from Toledo Ohio pulled in quite the specimen while fishing at the pier with his grandfather. Pier patrons gathered around to see this strange sea creature the boy had pulled from the depths. With its slimy body and tentacle covered face, the baby Cthulhu was not exactly what most people would call cute, but yet no one could take their eyes off of it.
“I caught him with a bottom rig with cut bait,” Stevie said to the crowd who remained transfixed on his catch, “It didn’t put up much a fight, I thought it was a croaker or spot.”
Cthulhu are a rarely seen on the surface, instead they prefer enslaving humans telepathically from deep beneath the sea. Up until this point thought only sailor’s tale. Yet this mythological creature was sitting calmly in this young man’s hands.
“The state doesn’t have a citation for fictional creatures,” Bobby Donalds a commissioner on the NC Wildlife Resources commission said, “It is a once in a lifetime catch, and I don’t think the child needs a certificate from us to commemorate it.”
When asked for a comment the baby Cthulhu vibrated it’s tentacles softly as everyone around got an instant migraine, then spoke telepathically into their heads:
O̗͙ṋ̤̯̪e̶͉̹ ̱͢d͉a̳͎y̭̻̟͉̤̻̞͟ ẉ̼̜̲ȩ͎̰̬̲ ̙̼̦̩̜͔̥͟w̦̜͈͠i̧͙͎͖̗̦͖͈l̞̭̘l̝ ̨͔̦͈a͈̹̱l̸̲͓͙̥̼̳l̡̘ ͖g͟o̴̰̩͎ ͙̺̹͇͎̲̪i̴͚̰̙̱̞n͕͖̮̳̫͟ͅͅt̡͚͕o ̖̪̰̦̦t͏̭͉͚̲h̫ͅe͏̞ ̙̳̩w̖̰̲̭͈̗a̗̼͕̟͢t̘͍̟̪e͖͇̣̖r͙͍͓̳̥̯͘ ̠ͅ
̴͉͈G̷̤̗o ̱̗̲͎̠̬i͈̝͇̳͙ͅn̼͉̲t̛͕o̤ ̘̦͈th̝̠͙͎e͖͎̘̲ ̸̲̲̭̪̠w̡̬͙̗͚̼̯͎a͈̪̞̞͈̕t̲̩̺͍̞ͅe͚̞̳̻͓͈r̲̻͙ ̙͡
͏l͕ì̖̰̝̜͇̣v͘e̘̥ ͅt̲̖̬̻̘̻̞h̲̱̖͞e̤̜̝̳̘̭̖͞r͟e̖̻̬̠̦̺͙͡ ̨d̰̹̤i̴͇̦̟̬̳e͓̙̹͍̬̝͎ ͟ṭ̨͇̳͓͇̩̤h̲͓͍̭̞̳̼̕e͢r̼͈̝̪͓ͅe̩̪̮ ̢
͚͡ḻ̯͚ͅi͈̩͞v̨̙͇̳ͅe̼͎̣̗̼͢ ̪̫̫͝t̹̗̝̟̜̲ḫ̩̪̪͠e̮r͎̥͇̗̟̙̱e̼ ͉͚̻͉̦d̶̳͖ị̀e̟ͅ
̳̺̖̮͙̰We҉̹͉͔̖̤̗ͅ’̟̮̗̤̩̥̰l̘l̢̯̻͙̜̳̥ ͉r̪̝̰̖͔̕is҉̝̤̗̼̦̖e͏,͍͈̞̺͝ ͘f̫̖̙̮̩͇r͕̟o̵͖̭͉̥͕̻m̖ ͈̫͉o̺̗ͅu͈ŗ̳͚ ̦͖̜̻d҉̱̮e̘̻̗̩̥̪͍̕ṕ̟̭̟̫̝̘t̲͡h̯͎̀s̯̥͓͔ ̶̲͖d͚̳̠̫̹̘̩o͢ẃ̺̠̙͉̗̙n̺̥̗̼͞ ͔͖͉͓̀b̞̤̣̮̟͞e͙̮͈͜l̰͟o̯͢w҉ ̲̰͖̱͚
̡͍̭̣̳̪R͏̙e̻̯͎̼̺l̻͔̬ḛ̹̜a҉͉̞s̲͕̬͓̖͕ͅe҉͖͕̪ ̺̱̹y̮͚̫͚̻͢ou҉̩͕̗̫ŕ͉̝̳̝̝s͉͇͔͍̝͔͡e̺͇͎̗̦͙͍l̨̪͔ve͍̳̤̫̩̫s̸͉̟,̨̞ ͈̹̜̤͚̤d̥r̴ͅo͏̖̥̘w̸n ̶̥͚̤̲w͡i̞̤̞̝̘͎t͙̙̻ͅh̴ m͇̠͓̰̝̰e̛̜͇̳̠̫̜ ̗
̧̰̠̺̼W҉e̪̞ ̬͙͝w̠̮̫̤̳̼i͎̼͉̤͇̹͜ͅļ̗̥͔̬̰̲l҉ ̙̙̟̠̦͕͢c̝͕͖̯o̱̟̥̮͕͕̕n͖͘q̙̳͎̯̞̼̝u̦e̤̲̦̟͎͎r̪̬̥ ̤̱͓̫̥l̷̲̥̦ͅa̤̳̟̟͓̯n̬͔͝d͕̬̻̘́ ̡̺̯͎w̞̩i̼̗̯̣͇t̷͎h͔͖̯͈̪̱ ̗̤͚̼̠͓͘w͚̣͈͕͙͔͚a̜͕͎̲̞̪͔͝t̞̫̬̙̻͞er҉ ̻̪̳̖
After a quick picture, Stevie released his catch back into the water by tossing him off the end of the pier. A few human mind slaves jumped overboard with their new master never to be seen again.