Outer Banks Legend, Dusty Hills, has been couch surfing since he was 12 years old. “Hell if you count sleeping on random couches because my Dad got evicted, I’ve been couch surfing my whole life.” He said on Wednesday as he prepared to take his shot at glory. The 34 year old line cook has bounced around to nearly as many restaurants as he has couches, but cooking is not his true passion.
“He has a way of riding that no one else can hold a candle to,” said fellow surfer Mary Warner. “I’ve seen couches that were so rough most people wouldn’t even sit on them. Dusty ain’t scared. We joked about making a ‘Dusty would go’ sticker and putting it on couches and chairs people leave out for trash pick up.”
“Watching him pass out on a couch is like poetry,” said actual surfer Dylan Cables as he recorded Dusty training on a love seat. “We used to think Dusty was just the guy that always crashed at our house, smoked our weed, ate our food, and parked in the wrong spot. Now we know he has a talent too.”
“I just want to make my fellow locals proud,” Dusty said as he took a drag from a cigarette. “I know there will be some big names coming in from Cali, but I got the local knowledge. I know ever couch from the trailers in Currituck to the unfinished downstairs laundry rooms of Ocracoke. I can also improvise. I can turn porch furniture and beach chairs into a bed. I even slept in an outside shower once.”
“I’d say he has a good chance at breaking into the national rankings if he pulls off a victory here,” said Stan Merrit, the editor of Eastern Couch Surfer Magazine. “He has a number of top ten finishes, but he needs a win to get more recognition on the major circuit. The weather is shaping up great, with a low pressure atmosphere on the coast, there will be plenty of people chill enough to let you hit up their couch, but the danger in that is that a bunch of Virginia kooks come down and crowd up all the good couches.”