Duck NC – In an act of civil disobedience, locals from all over the county of Dare organized to remove the sand paid for with county money from Duck’s beaches. The protest occurred as the result of a local surfer being arrested for checking the waves at an access an oceanfront property owner claimed was private. The issue of Duck and Southern Shores not having public beach access has long been an issue of contention among locals, but the arrest of one of their own for daring to walk out onto the beach sent them over the edge.
Hundreds of locals with beach buckets, 5 gallon buckets, and empty kegs started a fireman line to move the sand. They started at the house of the man who called the police on the surfer.
“If we can’t use the sand we paid for, we are taking it back,” said angry local Jim Baum, “If this guy thinks low class locals will bring down his property value, he should see what high tide will do to it without the sand our taxes paid for.”
“So we are good enough to clean their cottages and serve them food, but we better not dare to go to their beach,” local Sandra Daniels said as she filled a bucket and handed it off to a friend.
“There is no law about digging a hole on the beach or making sand castles,” Kill Devil Hills resident Justin Thomas said, “If anyone asks we are just building a big sand castle in Kitty Hawk. You know the place where locals can go to the beach.”
“I bought a house down here specifically so I could avoid the f*cking dumb-ass riff raff,” said ocean front home owner, Dandy Yankle, “If I wanted my beach covered with beer cans and corn hole I could have stayed in New Jersey. Now these mother effers are stealing my sand from in front of my cottage? I’m gonna call the police and get them all arrested.”
Thankfully for the protesters, the town of Duck and it’s illogical interpretation of laws they realized that the police were also locals and were therefore not allowed to use the beach access either. When asked for comment the town released another public statement similar to the first: “It is embarrassing to admit it, but if we are saying that our beaches are public, yet the public has no way to get to them, which in effect makes them private beaches, but we need to maintain they are public, even though they are de facto private, so we can get that sweet county money, that we will use on public beaches, which only rich cottage owners can use, then we might come across a illogical at best and intentionally hypocritical at worse, but no one can do anything about it, since most of the voters down here are rich transplants who only claim residency here for tax purposes, and agree with keeping the accesses private, because they own houses in HOAs that have an access. If we were going to use eminent domain, it wouldn’t be to make the beach accesses public, it would be to turn DVO into a Lands’ End outlet.”