Duck, NC – In an effort to thwart a rash of trespassing crimes against Duck’s oceanside property owners, the Duck Police Department has deployed adhesive “tourist traps” along private beach accesses throughout the town. The traps snare unsuspecting tourists when they violate the law while accessing the beach. Duck Police Chief QewDiePie said the traps are also 78.12% effective against trespassing locals.
“Duck’s beaches are public up to the high water mark; access to them is not,” said Duck homeowner Jared Carson. “We pay a lot of money to keep the riff raff out. I’m pleased our police department has taken steps to eliminate this ongoing threat to our privacy.”
The traps hang from 12 foot scaffolds and are made from a ten foot polycarbonate sheet coated with an industrial strength adhesive. A few inches of skin contact is all that is necessary to trap the unsuspecting trespasser. Struggling only envelops the lawbreaker more completely and ensures they aren’t going anywhere until the police arrive.
“As long as they don’t get their faces covered and suffocate themselves, we can get them free with a little WD-40,” said Chief QewDiePie. “After a week in the slammer and a few showers with Bubba most seem to learn their lesson. We aren’t seeing a lot of recidivism.”
When asked if the traps had managed to snare Duck Private Trespassing Enemy No. 1, Robert Hobiecat, Chief QewDiePie admitted the outlaw had thus far managed to evade capture
“But,” he added, “It’s only a matter of time before he shows up stoned out of his mind, not quite on his game, and gets snared. In the meantime, if anyone sees Mr. Hobiecat in the village of Duck I encourage them to call 911.”