Duck, NC – Big Game hunter and Duck oceanfront property owner Tess Talley rarely misses what she aims for.
Using her trusty .50 caliber Barrett sniper rifle with laser sights and GPS triangulation, Talley has hunted giraffes, antelope, pangolins and manatee across around the globe from the safety of her designer portable steel and concrete bunker. But a local juvenile osprey has managed to evade the self-proclaimed “Mistress of Murder” and she is one unhappy camper.
“It’s one of the most disappointing moments of my life,” Talley said while standing on top of a pile of local wildlife slain earlier in the day. “That dumb bird was sitting perfectly still in its nest. I had the shot lined up and at the last second one of those damn marsh mosquitoes flew right up my nose.”
Talley’s bullet shattered the wood frame structure of the nest, sending small bits of shrapnel into the osprey. The bird was wounded but survived.
“Honestly, I just thought it would bleed out and I certainly wasn’t going to waste another bullet. But then some jackass in an SPCA jacket comes running out there and scoops the thing up and carries it off.”
Talley said she’ll wait for the bird to heal up before trying to kill it again.
“I mean, I’m a sportswoman. Fair is fair,” she said.