The job of a lifeguard involves hours of mind numbing boredom punctuated with intense adrenaline inducing emergencies. Saving lives is why they are out there, but 99% of the time they are just watching and waiting. Southern Shores Lifeguard Mitchell Buchanan watches as the woman from New Jersey wades into the ocean. His eyes continue to scan the shoreline, observing other swimmers as they frolic in the surf, but his attention keeps returning to the Jersey tourist.
“Watch,” he says. “This one has no business in the water. This morning she was wearing floaties on her arms. Now she feels confident and thinks she can handle it.”
Sure enough as the woman slogs toward the break a two foot wave nearly knocks her off her feet. As she staggers to regain her balance she side steps closer and closer to a rip current. Buchanan stares, expectantly, as the woman moves closer toward the dangerous rip.
“I could say something,” he argues with himself, “but then I wouldn’t get to save her. I should warn her. No she will just yell at me for ruining her vacation and I will get a reprimand. Yes, yes a little closer now. What am I doing? I can’t just let her… Come on she will be fine. You will save her and be a hero. If you blow the whistle at her everyone on the beach will think your an asshole. Just let nature take it’s course and swoop then swoop in. It’s a win win.”
The woman is tumbled by another wave and this time loses her footing. The rip current sweeps her out to sea. Her arms flail above her head
“She trying to remember those swim lessons she took at the Y back in 1998,” Buchanan says. “Hard to remember important stuff when you are in a death panic. If she drowned it would serve as a lesson for the rest of the tourist herd, but then I wouldn’t get those stats. Tough call.”
Buchanan says he feels bad wishing somebody would drown but he says it is the only way to help others gain awareness of the dangers of the ocean. He says people become complacent about the ocean until somebody dies, and then for a week or so everyone is more careful, which makes his job easier. He notes that the caution level for people visiting from the area where the victim came from tends to last longer, sometimes the entire summer season.
“Where’s she from?” the supervisor asks.
Buchanan’s radio crackles to life; it’s his supervisor asking about the situation with the drowning woman.
“Trenton,” Buchanan says. “Jersey.”
“Shit. We just had one from Trenton drown in Duck last week. Maybe this lady didn’t get the news. Go ahead and pull her out.”
Buchanan shrugs and slings his lifesaving buoy over a shoulder and he jogs toward the water. He cuts through the water like a pike, straight toward the drowning woman. He reaches her just as she appears to go under one final time and tows her back to shore. She staggers from the water, sputtering, while her family busily records the moment on their cell phones.
“Look, next time you jump in to save me, could you use a yellow floatie thing? The red doesn’t look so hot with my bathing suit,” she tells the Buchanan. Buchanan shrugs and returns to his stand.
“Maybe the next one will be from Philly,” he says.
Dark but funny! Love the Jersey parts!