As hurricane Dorian approaches the Outer Banks, shortages begin appearing in local stores. A quick check of area grocery stores shows empty bread aisles, a shortage of bottled water, an absence of non-store-brand toilet paper, and a deep existential emptiness where the Mountain Dew used to be. Gas stations have covered their pump handles with plastic bags that will later be blown into the Atlantic for sea turtles to mistake for jellyfish, and hardware stores report being sold out of blue tarps. Perhaps the most heartbreaking product shortage during this trying time is one many people don’t even notice, a dearth of vape juice.
With the rise of e cigarettes, vaporizers, and Juuls, many people rely on these more technologically advanced nicotine delivery systems, abandoning the nominally plant-based tobacco cigarettes, cigars and pipes. With the advantages of these futuristic addiction maintenance devices, though, comes an uncomfortable fact: they must periodically be refilled with the chemical melange usually referred to as vape juice.
High-traffic gas stations and convenience stores have been the first to run out of the addictive elixirs, posting signs reading: “NO VAPE JUICE” and turning away highly irritable customers. Local independent stores such as Outer Vapes and Vape Hatteras (one of which has a clever pun hidden in its name) have been trying to take up the slack, but the principal burden has fallen to vape superstore Vape Depot in Asphalt Cay Shopping Center in Kitty Hawk.
Manager Clay “Cheeto” Rodrick reports: “Our usual weekly shipment was canceled due to the storm, and with the run on vape juice before Dorian hits, our flavor selection is lower than normal. We usually have four hundred flavors available, and I believe at last count we were down to, what? Two, I think?” A check of the shelves confirmed this count, revealing only a few bottles of gooseberry flavor and a case and a half of jicama.
Disappointed customer Trey “ Eight-point” Carter complains: “Who knows how long we’re going to be trapped in our houses without electricity after this storm passes? I won’t be able to watch cable TV, I won’t be able to watch Netflix, I won’t be able to watch Prime Video, and I won’t be able to play Fortnight. I think I have a People magazine from 2017 in the house, but I’ve already read most of it. If I can’t vape, what have I got? And what the h*** is jicama, anyway? I guess I’ll find out.” Trey wanders away trailing a vape-juice-dissipating cloud of jicama vapor and a few curses under his breath.
Depending on the final severity of the storm, local vape juice supplies may not be replenished for days, leaving a tense and jittery population hoping desperately for the return of video distractions and soothing nicotine vapor to once again make life bearable.