Wrightsville Beach – With hurricane Dorian bearing down on the entire coast of the state, the Governor has raised up a seldom used reserve force. From a secretive location around Greenville people reporting hearing what sounded like “motherfucker” from the sky. There were sightings of a flying man with chain suspended only by his white T-shirt.
“Desperate times call for desperate measures, and we need a miracle,” Governor Cooper said in a press conference.
Experts are still debating whether this daring plan could work.
“Look Hurricanes can release energy at a rate of 10 megaton nuclear bombs exploding every 20 minutes. There isn’t going to be much effect from waiving your shirts at it,” said Duke Physics Professor, Brian Yankemouth.
“It isn’t about the effect of you spinning the shirt on the air, but the effect of the spinning shirts on you,” argued Steve Mologowski, a sophomore at ECU on academic probation. “Yeah Petey might not move the hurricane, but he can move you with his art.”
“At this point we have nothing to lose,” said the Governor as he started to unbutton his shirt, “I for one plan on standing next to Petey. If he can keep this thing offshore I will make him the Poet Laureate of NC.”